IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY. WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT PEOPLE HEAR.

The term and awareness of Emotional intelligence (EI) came into my life about ten years ago and quietly became the sharpest tool in my kit for dealing with humans (and humans who make cabinets). EI is simply noticing your feelings, managing them, and tuning into everyone else’s. Self awareness, self regulation, empathy and social skill all rolled into one polite handshake. In the reputation-driven world of woodworking sales, a little EI keeps morale high, quarrels low, and deals moving.

Thomas Erikson’s “Surrounded by Idiots” gives us a handy map: four colours: red, yellow, green and blue. I think of them as lenses, not labels.

Reds can be terrifying if you take any thing personally. Handshakes are brisk and the floor manager will likely be growly and want to know if you will save him 10% and ship in six weeks. Always go toe to toe with a red and ask for a yes/no when you give a few options. If he likes it, he will nod, sign the PO and vanish into the next decision. No small talk, no donuts. Be careful though, you may get a fast close, but you may miss a hidden spec if you rush.

I love yellows! Lots of banter, brainstorming and you leave with sketchy scribbles and a promise to “make it amazing.” Although you have fun, stir up your creative side and will likely walk away with referrals you will need to capture the chaos into a spec sheet as soon as possible to get approval.

Our woodworking industry is full of green personalities. Quiet shop owners who just want a steady supply and guaranteed consistency. You need to reassure him, email the schedule and backup plan, and he quietly orders a steady monthly run. Greens give reliable repeat business; however, they make slow decisions and polite “yes” that masks hesitation unless you confirm.

And then there’s blue. He is the engineering manager who sits behind three monitors and asks for CAD files, tolerance tables, and test data before he’ll even consider a sample. He wants only numbers and no relationship. He thanks you then takes a long pause that feels eternal. You will get precise orders and fewer surprises; however, if you delay or slow the stream of data your orders may dry up.

Most salespeople I’ve met are yellow. Yellows are energetic, creative and people-first: we tell stories that light rooms up, we make connections fast, and we can sell a concept before the coffee cools. Unfortunately, we’re also disorganized, optimistic to a fault, and confident that every joke lands. Left unchecked, those same traits that win meetings can trip you up later like missed specs, forgotten follow-ups, and an empty CRM. The fix is simple in idea and hard in practice: keep your sparkle and add discipline.

If you’re a yellow, your charisma gets the meeting; structure closes the deal. Two rituals will change your life: log every commitment in the CRM the same day and leave every meeting with a single written next step and a deadline. Those tiny habits make you look blue-level reliable while you remain yellow in the room.

Hopefully your employer doesn’t expect you to become office clerks. We need structural tools like templated follow-ups, paired partners (a blue or a green) for onboarding, and short, enforced CRM windows after meetings. Coaching beats chastising.

A short field story: I used to drop by an office pod maker every few weeks with donuts and a genuine interest in their lean manufacturing. The team was full of yellows who were friendly and curious, so they let me in. For months I asked, “Can I sell you anything today?” before I left but each time received polite no’s because their US parent company specified US materials. Over time, they decided to test Formica HPL to be able to buy something from me. Approvals rolled through, and over time they adopted Formica Compact, Helmitin glue, Sia sandpaper and Baltic Birch. A tiny account became my first million dollar client because I cared, I stayed, and yes, the donuts didn’t hurt. My manager looked after the warehousing requirements with stocking programs that rarely went dry. It takes a team to create success.

Practice EI like you’d tune a planer: gently, regularly, and with respect for the grain. Learn to pause. I call it the “pregnant pause.” This silence would make my mind go crazy, sometimes it still does, however, I know I have lost deals because I talked more than I listened.

I have learned to ask one clarifying question, hold a five second pause, match the person’s tempo, and log the next step in the CRM before the coffee wears off. ( Just kidding, I still suck at the CRM entries).

Overall, we all need to incorporate small moves that will create big returns. And when all else fails, stop by Timmy’s to bring coffee and donuts because relationships don’t happen in spreadsheets, but they often start with a warm cup and a friendly face.

Freya Hannah is Head of Business Development and Partnerships for the Cieblink platform at Cienapps. With experience across distribution, materials supply, and software platforms serving the woodworking and building sectors, she has worked with manufacturers, distributors, and millwork companies throughout Canada and the United States.